


The Doppelganger Theorem

by debirlfan



Category: 2 Broke Girls, The Big Bang Theory (TV)
Genre: Crossover, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-04
Updated: 2015-09-04
Packaged: 2018-04-17 15:25:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4671683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/debirlfan/pseuds/debirlfan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Even geeks have to eat somewhere.  Penny picks the wrong place.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Doppelganger Theorem

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lauren (notalwaysweak)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/notalwaysweak/gifts).



_“Why don't you and Amy come with us? It will be fun!”_

In retrospect, Penny should have known better. She was fairly certain that her “bestie” Amy actually did know better, but Amy was so smitten with Sheldon that she would probably follow him through the gates of Hell. _Then again, Penny suspected that Newark airport qualified as the gates of Hell, and if so, then Amy already had._

Originally, the plan had been for her, Amy and Bernadette to spend a few days in Vegas while the boys went off to New York Comic Con. But, NASA had called and asked Howard and Bernadette to attend an event at Cape Canaveral, and then Raj's mother had announced that she would be visiting. Suddenly there were two extra tickets.

Leonard had promised her Coney Island, the Statue of Liberty and Times Square. _Yeah, right._ So far, she'd seen a bunch of people wearing expensive costumes, two comic book stores, and a bar where the entrance to the bathroom resembled a blue British police box – and technically the convention hadn't even started yet. She sighed. The only reason they weren't still at the bar was because the bartender had laughed at Sheldon's demand for a diet virgin Cuba Libre. That was rather unfortunate, because Penny figured that she'd be enjoying the trip a lot more with a few shots of tequila under her belt.

“We can pick up the Q Train at Prospect Park.” Sheldon didn't remove his nose from the subway map he was studying as they walked back from the bar. “It's only a few blocks. That will take us to the hotel.”

“I thought we were going to stop somewhere to eat?” Penny protested, lagging just a bit behind the others. When Leonard had said that they were going to a bar, Penny had assumed that they would have dinner there, but it had turned out to not be that sort of bar. They didn't have a food menu, only drinks.

“There's a restaurant at the hotel. They scored an A plus on their last health department inspection and are rated five out of five stars on Yelp. We can eat there.”

Sheldon's attention was still on the map, and only Amy's sharply voiced “Sheldon!” prevented him from walking into a lamp post.

Penny wasn't quite sure what to make of his fascination with the subway. For a man who insisted on wearing “bus pants” on the rare occasion he was forced to take public transportation, he was strangely willing to overlook the seedier aspects of the subway. On the other hand, she supposed that it did qualify as a train. That, undoubtedly, made up for a certain amount of grunge.

“I'm hungry.” It wasn't a lie, but the primary reason Penny wanted to stop was because her feet hurt. She couldn't complain about that, though, because she had ignored Sheldon's advice about wearing comfortable shoes. Her pink flip-flops might be cute, but they weren't made for slogging across half of Brooklyn. Penny glanced over at Amy's walking shoes. Not particularly attractive, but certainly more practical. Penny slowed her pace, checking the surrounding storefronts. “There's got to be somewhere here we could stop and eat.”

Penny elbowed Leonard, who had been staying out of the discussion, more interested in the limited edition Boba Fett action figure he'd bought for himself at the last comic book store. “Oh, yeah. I'm hungry, too. We should stop.” Leonard finally noticed the glare Penny was shooting his way.

“I could go a little something,” Amy agreed.

That brought Sheldon to a halt. “At a random restaurant? One we know nothing about? We might as well eat out of that trash barrel over there.” Sheldon gestured dramatically.

Amy rolled her eyes. “I'm sure it will be fine. Look, there's a place right across the street.”

“Williamsburg Diner? Diner? Well that's not right. Diners are supposed to be silver stand alone buildings. That's just a random storefront.”

“Downtown diners are different,” Penny said the first thing that came to her mind. She didn't really care what the place was, as long as there was somewhere to sit down. Waiting until the traffic had passed, she dashed across the street.

“Penny, jaywalking is illegal--” Whatever Sheldon had started to say was cut off as Amy pulled on his arm, dragging him along with her as she and Leonard followed.

Opening the door, there were a few steps going down. Penny glanced around, noting the large, hairy man leaning through the window leading into the kitchen. Grabbing Leonard, she shoved him into a booth and followed him, making sure that the two of them were facing the kitchen, giving Sheldon and Amy no choice but to sit opposite. What Sheldon couldn't see behind his back wouldn't hurt him.

Sheldon had his phone in his hand and was poking away furiously at it. “I can't get to the health department reports on this, but me at least see what Yelp has to say--”

“Hi. Welcome to the Williamburg Diner. I'll be your waitress. “ Menus were placed before them. “Can I get you something to drink?”

Their waitress was blond, bored, and wearing an elaborate necklace of what had to be fake pearls. She looked familiar in a way that Penny couldn't quite place.

They ordered Cokes, and the waitress left them to peruse the menu. Having decided on a simple salad, Penny turned her attention back to the waitress, chewing her lip in concentration. “She looks like someone. Maybe someone who's been in 'People' or 'The Enquirer'.”

“Caroline Channing, New York socialite,” Sheldon answered, without looking up from the menu.

Leonard gave him a startled, wide-eyed look which Penny knew was mirrored on her own face. “Since when did you read rag magazines?”

Sheldon screwed his face into a grimace. “I don't. I do, however, watch the news. Caroline Channing, daughter of Martin Channing, who went to prison for running a huge Ponzi scam. She was interviewed a few times supporting her father.” Responding to what must have been their incredulous looks, Sheldon raised a hand and tapped his forehead with one finger. “Eidetic memory, remember?”

The waitress picked that moment to return with their drinks. She set them down on the table and took out her order pad. “Have you decided?”

“Are your burgers USDA certified?” Sheldon asked.

Amy was ignoring her menu. “We were just talking. Has anyone ever told you that you look like Caroline Channing?”

Penny watched the girl blush. “Uh, yeah. I've heard that before. Um, excuse me.” She turned and quickly headed toward the kitchen.

“Well that was rude,” Sheldon said. “Was that a yes or no on the burgers?” he called after her.

“Did I say the wrong thing?” Amy asked.

“I don't know.” Looking over Sheldon and Amy's shoulders, Penny watched Caroline, who had gone behind the counter and was talking with another waitress. She couldn't hear what was being said, but there was gesturing in their direction. Finally the second waitress headed for their table.

“Hi, I'm Max. I'll be your waitress.”

“What happened to our other waitress? She didn't take ill, did she?” Sheldon eyed his glass as if it might be contaminated by the plague.

“She's fine. The chef just needed her to do some prep work in the kitchen.”

“She never did answer whether your burgers are USDA certified?”

“Oh, they're certified, all right. Speaking of which--” she looked at Leonard, who was still examining his Boba Fett figure, “--perhaps we could put our toys away long enough to order?”

Leonard reddened. “Sorry. Just a hamburger and fries, please.”

“Chef salad with blue cheese.” Penny pushed her menu to the edge of the table.

“The same with Italian dressing.”

Max turned to Sheldon, impatiently tapping her pen on the side of her order pad. “And you?”

“If I must. A well done cheeseburger with two slices of pickle on a buttered and toasted bun with ketchup on the side and an order of french fries. And make sure nobody touches my food.”

“Right. I'll make a special note of that.” Max scribbled something on her pad that was way too short to be Sheldon's order and all of his special instructions. “That will be just a few minutes.” She headed back to the kitchen.

“So why do you think that waitress reacted like that when I said she looked like Channing?” Amy asked.

Penny sighed. Sometimes Amy could be almost as dense as Sheldon. “Maybe she doesn't like being told that she resembles someone most of New York considers a pariah?” Once Sheldon had mentioned the name, Penny had remembered the gist of the story. “The Enquirer” had played it as the fall of the rich and the powerful.

Leonard had finally put his action figure away. “Maybe she actually is Caroline Channing.”

“Working in this di--” Penny checked herself. _It wouldn't be wise to call it a dive in front of Sheldon._ “Working in this place? As a waitress? Yeah, like that would ever happen.”

A few minutes later, Max brought out their dinners. Her salad was good sized and looked appealing, but Penny reached over and nabbed one of Leonard's french fries on general principles.

Sheldon bit into his burger, then abruptly reached for his napkin. He spit out what was in his mouth and then pulled the top bun from his sandwich and stared at the cheeseburger. “This is pink. Dark pink,” he added, his voice rising. “ This is most definitely not well done.”

“It will be fine, Sheldon.” Penny wondered how many times she had said that before.

“Certainly it will be fine, if you don't mind E Coli.” He dropped the burger back on the plate. “You can eat here if you want. I'm going back to the hotel.” Sheldon stood and headed toward the door.

Leonard looked at the others. “Do we follow him?”

As much as her feet hurt, Penny couldn't begin to imagine the trouble Sheldon would undoubtedly get himself into alone on the subway. “I suppose we'd better,” she sighed.

Leonard dropped enough bills on the table to cover their check and a healthy tip, and Penny mouthed a silent “sorry” toward Max, who was giving them a dirty look.

If Leonard ever asked her to go to a convention with him again, she might shoot him.


End file.
